We Only Share Some DNA

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Way back in time in The Dominican Republic, my father started a second family, and so he had four kids. They were two girls and two boys. For reasons unknown to me, even though she knew about my father’s second family, my mother never divorced him. To make a long story short, my mother died in 1996, but before that, she told me that the four kids didn’t ask to be born. In other words, the only two people to be blamed were my father and their mother. What she was trying to tell me was, for me to try to start a relationship with my half siblings.

My mother has been one of the most kindhearted people, that I have ever met. So, through my cousin, I was able to contact who I believe is the eldest of the four and had a couple of long telephone conversations with him. As a matter of fact, since we lived in the same neighborhood, I even invited him over numerous times, so we could meet and get to know each other, but he always came up with some lame-ass excuses. So, after a while, I got the message loud and clear and stopped calling him. Throughout the years, I’ve met him and the rest of the gang a couple of times… in family funerals. And that my homies and homettes, is the reason why I tell everyone, that I don’t have any brothers.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

When I Drink My Blog Suffers

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are on this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody mess it up for you no matter what goes down.

On a BUI (Blogging Under the Influence) note! Even though I don’t blog for fame and or money, but like I always tell my shrink Dr. C, I just do it as a kind of therapy. For a while now, I’ve noticed that when I go on a weekend binge, my blog suffers. Why? Well first, because I stop posting and second, because I start making drastic changes, without actually thinking or even knowing what the hell is it that I want or I’m looking for.

OK, so after my last weekend binge, as usual, I was mad at myself for fucking up yet once again. So I deleted all of my posts, then for the next couple of days, I was thinking about deleting the entire blog and walking away from it all. Which I have done many, many times before. Luckily I came to my senses and as you can see, here we are. The thing is, that after the alcohol is out of my system, I feel like shit about myself, so I take it out on the wrong thing, my crazy therapy blog.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

One Alcohol-Free Weekend

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are on this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody mess it up for you no matter what goes down.

On a weekend note! since today is Sunday, we can say that this was my first alcohol-free weekend in a while. The only difference this time is, that I know why I love to binge drink on the weekends so much. But in case that you haven’t heard, as my shrink told me a couple of times, I was using alcohol to self-medicate.

Hey look, I know the definition of the word, it’s just that #1) I have been drinking since I was a teenager and #2) I didn’t want to accept my Bipolar II diagnosis. I knew that sometimes there was something odd about my behavior and “racing thoughts”, but I saw it as just part of being human. I guess that’s why so many people don’t get help in the first place. Because in their minds, they are just being “normal”.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!